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FUGEE CARER
Selam Kidane is much sought-after for her knowledge of refuge fostering

Of her interest in foster care, she says: “I became interested in fostering as the main setting where these children gained substitute families after being separated through the ‘refugee making process’”.

Sought after for her expertise in this area, Yinka Sunmonu managed to track her down.

Yinka Sunmonu : Selam, I understand that you were a refugee. How does your experience relate to your work?

Selam Kidane : I guess even the fact I got interested in working in the area comes from my experiences of being a refugee. Initially it was my quest for trying to understand what had happened to me but then it developed into helping others to make sense of their situation.

The fact that I understand the implications of being a refugee from inside out means that people that I work with feel particularly understood and are also more likely to trust me.

YS: I find it quite difficult to refer to you as a refugee –a question of terminology, perhaps. How important is terminology when it comes to addressing/referring to children or young people in these situations?

SK : I would say it is not important at all to the young person, particularly given the stigma attached to the term. A young person would much rather be a young person and not a refugee but unfortunately the terminology has become a label that is a key to openin g s ome doors while at the same time shutting others for young refugees.

YS : What does one need to consider when it comes to fostering refugee/unaccompanied children and young people?

SK : Every child is different, and as such, every unaccompanied asylum-seeking child comes with their own unique sets of experiences and also their own personality – impacting on how they have dealt with these experiences. The thing common to all unaccompanied refugee children is the fact that they have been separated from their families, communities, languages, cultures, land and their people. This is such a enormous loss. On top of that, these children go through the asylum-seeking process as well as the adjustment to a new country that is not very welcoming to refugees. Every carer needs to understand the enormity of these two – loss and separation – and having an uncertain future in what can be a very hostile setting.

“Refugee children are not
‘different children’ – but
simply ‘children with
different experiences’”

YS : Some people may consider refugee children and young people to be “different”. What is your take on this?

SK : Not different children but children with different experiences. The difference being in what caused them to be refugees in the first place and how the asylum system treats them once they arrive in everything else I think they are like every other child.

YS : This brings me on to training or raising awareness among prospective carers. You have just devised a training pack for them. What did you have to consider?

SK : In a sense it was easy because there was no other training pack for carers of refugee and asylum seeking children and hence there was a fresh canvas. However, the complex nature of the task and the fact that people have developed their own ways of doing things meant there was no coherent approach. So a lot of work went into identifying the issues and then putting them together in a format that would enable others to train with the material devised.

YS : What does it consist of?

SK : Issues covered range from definitions and the context of the asylum seeking process, looking into why children flee and what that sort of loss entails. It also looks at the task of the foster carer in promoting resilience of young people and preparing them for independence. There is also a section on the needs of the foster carer as well. As this is a task of caring for traumatised children there is a risk that foster carers might end up suffering from what is known as secondary stress.

YS : How can foster care change the lives of these children?

SK : It gives them an opportunity to have a safe enough setting from which they could attempt to rebuild their lives that have been shattered by the refugee-making process.

YS : If you could deliver one message to potential foster carers, what would it be?

SK : The main message has to be the fact that refugee children are fleeing real situations out there that we all know about and foster carers have the opportunity to offer them care and support that would help them overcome some of the impacts of their experiences. Like all children they respond well to a personal commitment made to them by a lovin g s table adult who is prepared to go the extra mile to stand by them.